It’s not easy having a narcissistic father. It can be quite difficult. I know this from experience. Growing up, my father was always putting himself first and never really cared about what I or my siblings wanted. He always had to be the center of attention and received gratification from being in the spotlight. This was extremely challenging for me as a child, and it left me with a lot of emotional scars that have taken years to heal. If you are currently struggling with a narcissistic father, I want to offer you some words of encouragement. It is possible to overcome this difficult childhood experience.
Contents
- 1 Who Is Narcissistic Father?
- 2 Signs of Narcissistic Father
- 3 Reasons of Narcissistic Father
- 4 Impacts of Narcissistic Father On Children
- 5 Positive Impacts of Narcissistic Father On Children
- 6 Negative Impacts of Narcissistic Father On Children
- 7 How To Deal With Narcissistic Father?
- 8 Helping Someone With Narcissistic Father
- 9 Conclusion
- 10 A Word From Therapy Mantra
Who Is Narcissistic Father?
Narcissistic father is a term that describes a father who is self-absorbed, and often excessively critical of his children. This can lead to a difficult childhood for the child, as they may feel like they are never good enough.
Growing up with a narcissistic father can be extremely challenging. They may constantly put their children down, or try to control every aspect of their lives. This can make it hard for the child to develop a healthy sense of self-esteem. There may have been times when you felt like you were walking on eggshells, never quite sure what would trigger your father’s anger.
If you have a narcissistic father, it is important to understand that it is not your fault. You did not cause his Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It is also important to realize that you are not alone. Many people have been through similar experiences. There are support groups and therapists who can help you deal with the challenges of having a narcissistic father. It may be difficult, but it is possible to heal the wounds of the past and build a healthier relationship with your father.
Signs of Narcissistic Father
There are many signs of a narcissistic father. If your father exhibits any of these behaviors, he may be a narcissist:
Criticism of Children
There may be no pleasing a narcissistic father. He is likely to be excessively critical of his children, no matter what they do. Criticism is good but when it becomes excessive and unreasonable, it is a sign of narcissism. There may be many reasons for criticism such as the child not meeting his high standards, or not doing things the way he wants them to be done. It also may be a way for him to try to control his children.
Invalidation of Children’s Feelings
A narcissistic father is not likely to be very supportive when his children are going through tough times. He may invalidate their feelings, telling them they are “overreacting” or that they “shouldn’t feel that way.” This can make it hard for the child to express their emotions and can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. There are likely to be few people in the child’s life that they can trust with their feelings.
Rigid Expectations
A narcissistic father is likely to have very rigid expectations for his children. He may expect them to excel in school and get straight A’s, or become a doctor or lawyer. There may be no room for deviation from these plans, and any mistakes made will likely result in harsh criticism. Sometimes they may even compare their children to others, telling them they are not good enough.
Domineering
A narcissistic father is likely to be domineering and wants to control every aspect of his children’s lives. He may try to control what they wear, who they spend time with, or what activities they do. This can be a way for him to feel more powerful and in control. It can also make it hard for the child to develop their own identity and make their own decisions.
Lack of Empathy
Narcissistic fathers often lack empathy for their children. They are not able to put themselves in their children’s shoes and understand how they are feeling. This can lead to a lot of emotional distance between the father and child. It may be hard for the child to feel like they can talk to their father about anything and that he will understand.
Unreasonable Jealousy
A narcissistic father may be jealous of his children’s success or attention from others. He may try to undermine their accomplishments, or take credit for things they have done. This can make the child feel insecure and doubt their abilities. It may also have an impact on their relationship with others. If
Manipulation
Manipulation is a common tactic used by narcissists. They may try to manipulate their children into doing things they don’t want to do, or into thinking certain ways. This can be a way for them to control the situation and have power over their children. It can also make it hard for the child to trust their judgment and instincts.
Control Issues
A narcissistic father may try to control every aspect of his children’s lives. He may want them to dress a certain way, behave in a certain way, or pursue specific goals in life. This can be extremely limiting for the child and can make it hard for them to develop their sense of identity. Sometimes the father’s control can be so extreme that it leads to abuse.
Abuse
Unfortunately, some narcissistic fathers will resort to physical or emotional abuse to control their children. This is an extreme form of manipulation and control and can have a lasting impact on the child. If you suspect that your father is abusive, it is important to get help from a trusted adult or professional.
Reasons of Narcissistic Father
There are several reasons for being a narcissistic father Some of these are:
Neglect In Their Childhood
Sometimes there may be something missing in the father’s childhood that he was never able to get. This can lead to him being narcissistic as an adult. He will try to get this attention by any means necessary, even if it means putting his children through the same neglect he experienced. It may also be that the father was over-praised as a child and this led to his inflated sense of self.
Lack of Role Models
Many narcissistic fathers may have had no positive role models in their lives when they were growing up. This can leave them feeling lost and without direction. They may try to fill this hole by creating an image for themselves that is larger than life. Often, this involves putting others down so that they can feel better about themselves. It may also be that the father had a very dysfunctional family and this is what he knows. He may not have been able to see any other way of being in the world.
Low Self-Esteem
Many narcissistic fathers suffer from low self-esteem. This often leads to them needing external validation from others to feel good about themselves. They may be very insecure and this can often lead to them feeling threatened by their children’s successes. They may also feel like they need to put their children down to make themselves look better.
Lack of Affection
Another reason for a narcissistic father is a lack of affection from his parents. This can cause him to be emotionally stunted and unable to show love or empathy towards others, including his children. It may also be that he was never shown love as a child and this is what he knows.
Being Overindulged
Some fathers may have been overindulged by their parents and given everything they ever wanted. As a result, they expect the same from their children. may believe that their children are there to serve them and meet their every need. They may not be able to see the children as separate individuals with their wants and needs. It may also have been that the father was never taught how to share or compromise.
Abuse
Sometimes some fathers are narcissistic because they have abused themselves, either physically or emotionally. This can lead to them being abusive towards their children. They may not be able to see the difference between what they experienced and what their children are experiencing. It is also possible that the father was an abuser and this is how he learned to interact with others. It may have been that his father was abusive and he followed in his footsteps.
Mental Illness
Sometimes there can be a mental illness that is driving the narcissistic behavior in fathers. This can be anything from a personality disorder to bipolar disorder. If there is an underlying mental health condition, it will need to be treated for the father to start behaving more healthily towards his children. This may also be the reason why the father was never able to hold down a job or keep a relationship.
Impacts of Narcissistic Father On Children
Everything has some pros and cons, same as that a narcissistic father has both. It is their actions that make their children face some impacts in their lives. Some impacts are good while others may be bad, it depends on the thinking of children, how they take things.
Positive Impacts of Narcissistic Father On Children
There are some positive impacts of a narcissistic father on children, which are as follows:
More Attention Sometimes
Sometimes children with narcissistic fathers get more attention than others. This is because narcissistic fathers tend to be very involved in their children’s lives and want to be the center of attention.
This can be a good thing, as it can make children feel loved and appreciated. However, it can also be a bad thing, as it can make children feel like they are never good enough and that they have to compete for their father’s attention.
Higher Self-Esteem
Children of narcissistic fathers often have higher self-esteem than other children. This is because narcissistic fathers tend to praise their children a lot and build them up.
This can be a good thing, as it can make children feel confident and secure. However, it can also be a bad thing, as it can make children feel like they are better than others and that they don’t need anyone else’s approval.
Negative Impacts of Narcissistic Father On Children
There are some negative impacts of a narcissistic father on children, which are as follows:
Emotional Abuse
Narcissistic fathers often emotionally abuse their children. They may do this by putting them down, making them feel guilty, or making them feel like they are never good enough. This can be very damaging to a child’s self-esteem and can make them think that they are worthless. Sometimes there may be physical abuse. There can be many long-term effects of emotional abuse, such as anxiety, depression, and difficulty trusting people.
Lack of Boundaries
Narcissistic fathers often do not respect boundaries. This means that they may invade their children’s privacy, control their lives, or make unrealistic demands. This can be very frustrating for children and can make them feel like they are never able to please their father. It can also make it difficult for them to establish healthy relationships with others.
Neglect
Narcissistic fathers sometimes neglect their children by not paying attention to their needs or by not spending time with them. This can leave children feeling lonely and unsupported. This sometimes also means that they do not get the care and guidance they need to grow into healthy adults.
Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is sometimes there in the family when a narcissistic father is in it. It’s not always there but can be an outcome of all the emotional and verbal abuse that goes on behind closed doors. The children suffer at the hands of their abusive fathers, both physically and emotionally. This can leave them with physical scars that may never heal as well as psychological damage that lasts a lifetime.
Insecurity
Insecurity is another thing that children of narcissistic fathers have to deal with. They are constantly made to feel like they are not good enough and that they have to prove themselves all the time. This can lead to a lot of anxiety and stress in their lives. It may also make them feel like they can’t trust anyone, including their father.
Needy And Clingy
Sometimes the children of narcissistic fathers become needy and clingy. This is because they are always trying to get their father’s approval and they never feel like they are good enough. They may also fear that if they don’t please their father, he will abandon them. It may also mean that they have difficulty forming healthy relationships with others. Relationships may now seem like a competition to them.
How To Deal With Narcissistic Father?
There are many ways to deal with a narcissistic father. Narcissistic fathers are often very charming and magnetic. They know how to get what they want and they use their charm to get it. Unfortunately, this means that they often take advantage of their children. If you grew up with a narcissistic father, you probably experienced some form of emotional abuse.
These are some of the best ways to deal with them:
Set Boundaries
When you set boundaries with a narcissistic father, you are telling him that you will not tolerate his abuse. You are also telling him that you will not let him control your life. Boundaries can be physical or emotional. For example, if your father always expects you to drop everything and come see him when he calls, you might set a boundary by saying that you will only come to visit him on weekends. If he starts calling during the week, tell him that you’re unavailable.
Don’t Let Him Get Away With It
Narcissistic fathers often get away with their abusive behavior because their children feel guilty or ashamed. They may think “I’m the one who’s causing all of this trouble” or “Why can’t I just be normal like everyone else?” It’s important to remember that you are not responsible for your father’s behavior. You can’t control how he treats you, but you can control how you react to it. It can also be helpful to talk to someone who can help you understand what’s going on and give you support.
Stand Up For Yourself
It’s important to stand up for yourself when your narcissistic father is being abusive. This doesn’t mean that you should fight back or yell at him. Instead, it means that you should calmly and assertively tell him that his behavior is not acceptable. For example, if he calls you names, you might say “I don’t deserve to be treated this way” or “I’m not going to tolerate this anymore.” If he tries to control your life, you might say “I’m an adult and I make my own decisions.” It’s also important to have a support system in place so that you can turn to your friends and family when you need help.
Don’t Take It Personally
Narcissistic fathers often say hurtful things to their children. They may call them names, criticize them, or put them down. It’s important not to take these comments personally. Remember that your father is saying these things because he wants to control and manipulate you. He is trying to make you feel bad about yourself so that you will do what he wants.
Talk To Someone Who Can Help
If you’re having trouble dealing with a narcissistic father, talk to someone who can help. Talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you understand what’s going on and how to deal with it. You can also join a support group for people who have been affected by narcissistic abuse. These groups can provide you with support and understanding. It can also be helpful to talk to other people who have gone through a similar experience.
Know What Exactly You Want
You should always know what you want from your narcissistic father. This means that you should have specific boundaries in place and you should be clear about what is and isn’t acceptable. It’s also important to remember that you don’t have to tolerate any type of abuse. You can set boundaries for physical, emotional, or financial abuse. If your father crosses a boundary, be sure to enforce it.
Helping Someone With Narcissistic Father
There are some ways that you can help support someone with a narcissistic father. Some of these are:
Do Some Research
If you want to be able to support your friend in the best way possible, it can be helpful to do some research on narcissistic fathers. This will help you to better understand what they are going through and how you can best support them. There are a lot of resources available online and in libraries. You can also talk to a therapist or counselor who may have experience working with people who have narcissistic fathers.
Offering Them Helping Hand
Sometimes helping hand is what it all takes. If you can be there for your friend when they need to talk, or just need someone to listen, this can make a world of difference. It may also be helpful to offer practical support, such as help with childcare or transportation. There can be a lot of emotional stress associated with dealing with a narcissistic father, so any practical help you can offer will be greatly appreciated.
Sharing Your Own Experiences
If you’ve gone through something similar, sharing your experiences with someone who is currently going through it can be very helpful. It can provide them with support and understanding, and it may also give them some ideas about how to deal with their situation. Just make sure that you don’t criticize or judge them, as this can only add to the already existing stress.
Being There For Them
The most important thing you can do for someone who is dealing with a narcissistic father is simply there for them. Let them know that you are available to talk when they need to, and offer your support in any way you can. Don’t try to fix everything or tell them what to do; just let them know that you care and are there for them. It may also be helpful to do some research on narcissistic fathers so that you can better understand what your friend is going through.
Be Good Listener
Try to refrain from giving advice and simply be a good listener. People with narcissistic fathers often feel like they can’t talk to anyone about what’s going on in their lives, so by being a good listener, you can help them feel supported and validated. Just make sure that you don’t judge them or offer unsolicited advice. It may have been a long time since they’ve felt like they could talk to someone openly and honestly, so just let them talk.
Give Financial Help
Sometimes there can be a lot of financial stress associated with dealing with a narcissistic father. If you are able, offer to help with some of the expenses. This can take a load off of their shoulders and help them to focus on other things. This maybe offers to help pay for therapy, or just offer to help with everyday expenses.
Conclusion
A narcissistic father is a difficult childhood. There may be a lot of pain and confusion. But, it is possible to move on and have a great life despite it. Don’t let your father’s narcissism define you or ruin your life. You are strong and capable of anything. You can also contact us for more related articles and help.
A Word From Therapy Mantra
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.