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Victim Narcissist: Concept, Symptoms, Tips, And Techniques

Victim Narcissist

Do you know someone who always seems to play the victim? They might make you feel sorry for them, or even angry at what they put you through. Chances are, you’re dealing with a victim narcissist. Victim narcissists are individuals who display many of the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), but use their victim persona as a way to garner sympathy and control over others. In this article, we will discuss what victim narcissism is, how to identify it, and how to protect yourself from its effects.

Understanding Victim Narcissist

Victim Narcissist

Victim narcissists are individuals who display many of the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), but use their victim persona as a way to garner sympathy and control over others. In other words, they play the victim to get what they want.

NPD And Victim Mentality

A narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder that is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with NPD often seek out relationships where they can be in control and feel superior to others. They may use manipulation, coercion, and even emotional blackmail to get what they want.

While victim narcissists share many characteristics with those with NPD, there is one key difference: victim narcissists will often portray themselves as victims to gain sympathy and control over others. They may play up their hardships or exaggerate the difficulties they face to gain pity or attention. In some cases, they may even go so far as to fabricate stories of abuse or victimization.

Types of Victim Narcissists

victim narcissist

There are three main types of victim narcissists: the drama queen, the martyr, and the rescuer.

  • The drama queen is a victim narcissist who is always seeking attention. They may exaggerate their problems or create drama where there is none. They crave the spotlight and often need to be center stage.
  • The martyr is a victim narcissist who portrays themselves as self-sacrificing and always putting others first. They may claim to be working tirelessly for a cause or neglect their own needs to help others. Martyrs often seek out relationships where they can be the “savior” or caretaker.
  • The rescuer is a victim narcissist who tries to “save” others from their problems. They may swoop in and try to fix every situation, even if it’s not their place to do so. Rescuers often need to be needed and feel good when they can help others.

Signs of Victim Narcissism

There are several signs that you may be dealing with a victim narcissist. These include:

  • Always the victim. No matter what the situation is, they always find a way to make themselves the center of attention.
  • Are control freaks. They need to be in control of every situation and often use manipulation and coercion to get their way.
  • Masters of manipulation. Victim narcissists are often very good at manipulating those around them to get what they want.
  • Are self-centered. All they care about is themselves and their own needs.
  • Are always right. In their mind, they are never wrong and will go to great lengths to prove it.
  • Play the victim. Victim narcissists often portray themselves as victims to gain sympathy from others.
  • Lack empathy. Victim narcissists often have a difficult time empathizing with others and may not seem to understand how their actions affect those around them.

Studying Victim Narcissism

Victim Narcissist

Why They Play The Victim

There are several reasons why victim narcissists play the victim. For instance:

For Seeking attention. Victim narcissists often crave attention and need to be the center of attention at all times.

For Gaining sympathy. By portraying themselves as victims, they can gain sympathy and attention from others.

To get what they want. Victim narcissists often use their victim persona to manipulate or coerce others into giving them what they want.

To feel important. Victim narcissists often use their victim persona to make themselves feel important. They may do this by making others feel guilty or by playing with their emotions.

To avoid responsibility. Victim narcissists often use their victim persona to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They may do this by gaslighting others or making them feel guilty.

To control others. Victim narcissists often use their victim persona to control others. They may do this by making others feel guilty or by manipulating the truth.

How They Play The Victim Card

There are several ways that victim narcissists play the victim card. For instance:

  • Making others feel guilty. Victim narcissists often make others feel guilty for their problems. They may do this by accusing others of being judgmental or critical.
  • Manipulating the truth. Victim narcissists often manipulate the truth to make themselves look like the victim. They may do this by gaslighting others or minimizing.
  • Playing on emotions. Victim narcissists often play on the emotions of others to get what they want. They may do this by making others feel sorry for them or by manipulating their feelings.
  • Making threats. Victim narcissists often make threats to get what they want. They may do this by threatening to leave or by making others feel like they are in danger.

Playing The Victim Card

Victim Narcissist

Victim narcissists often play the victim card to get what they want from others. They may use their victim persona to manipulate or coerce those around them into giving them what they want.

  • In Relationships: Victim narcissists often create toxic relationships. They may manipulate or coerce their partners into doing what they want. Furthermore, they may gaslight their partners and make them question their reality. In addition, they may also play the victim card to gain sympathy from their partners. This can often lead to an unhealthy cycle of codependency.
  • In Workplaces: Victim narcissists often create toxic workplaces. They may use their victim persona to manipulate or coerce their coworkers into doing what they want. They may also gaslight their coworkers and make them question their reality. This can often lead to a hostile work environment and a lot of drama.

Defense Mechanisms Used By Them

There are several defense mechanisms that victim narcissists use to protect themselves from the outside world. For instance:

  • Denial. Victim narcissists often deny their faults and shortcomings. They may also deny the existence of problems in their lives.
  • Gaslighting. This is a common tactic used by victim narcissists. It involves manipulating the truth to make others question their reality.
  • Minimization. Victim narcissists often minimize their problems and downplay their importance. They may also try to make others seem like they are overreacting.
  • Projection. Victim narcissists often project their feelings onto others. For example, if they are feeling insecure, they may accuse others of being judgmental or critical.

Consequences Of Playing The Victim

There are several consequences of playing the victim. For instance:

  • Toxic relationships. Victim narcissists often create toxic relationships. They may manipulate or coerce their partners into doing what they want.
  • Loss of trust. Victim narcissists often lose the trust of others. This is because they often gaslight and manipulate those around them.
  • A hostile work environment. Victim narcissists often create a hostile work environment. This is because they often gaslight and manipulate their coworkers.
  • Tension and drama. Victim narcissists often create tension and drama in their lives. This is because they often gaslight and manipulate those around them.

Protecting Yourself From Victim Narcissism

Victim Narcissist

If you think you may be in a relationship with a victim narcissist, there are several things you can do to protect yourself. For instance:

  • Setting boundaries. It’s important to set boundaries with a victim narcissist. This means being clear about what you will and will not tolerate.
  • Staying calm. When interacting with a victim narcissist, it’s important to stay calm and level-headed. This can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that they are the ones who are out of control, not you.
  • Avoiding arguments. It’s best to avoid arguing with a victim narcissist. They will often try to goad you into an argument to get the upper hand.
  • Getting support. It’s important to have a support system in place when dealing with a victim narcissist. This can include friends, family, or a therapist.

Self-help Tools

Several self-help tools can help you deal with a victim narcissist. For instance:

  • Building self-esteem. It’s important to work on building your self-esteem. This will help you feel better about yourself and give you the strength to deal with a victim narcissist.
  • Practicing assertiveness. Assertiveness training can help you learn how to stand up for yourself and set boundaries with a victim narcissist. And, it can also help you avoid getting into arguments with them.
  • Learning to relax. Relaxation techniques such as yoga, meditation, or deep breathing can help you deal with the stress of dealing with a victim narcissist.

Self-help Strategies

Several self-help strategies can be helpful when dealing with a victim narcissist. However, our top picks include:

  • Ignoring them. In some cases, the best thing you can do is to simply ignore the person. This may not be possible in all cases, but if it is, it can be very effective.
  • Focusing on yourself. It’s important to focus on your happiness and well-being. This means taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally.

Conclusion

If you think you may be in a relationship with a victim narcissist, it’s important to take steps to protect yourself. Remember, they are the ones who are out of control, not you. Moreover, if you need help, be sure to reach out to a friend or family member for support. In addition, you can also seek professional help from a therapist.

A Word From Therapy Mantra

Your mental health — Your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.

At TherapyMantra, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, workplace Issues, addiction, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.