What is narcissism? How to confuse a narcissist? How can you disarm a narcissist? What are catchphrases and power strategies that can confuse a narcissist? This article will answer these questions and more. It will provide an in-depth look at what narcissistic personality disorder is, the different types of narcissists, their traits, thought control tactics, and how to deal with them. Expert opinions are included, as well as a case study.
Contents
Understanding Narcissism
Narcissism is a personality disorder that is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, grandiose thinking, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissists often have an excessive need for admiration and attention. They may be very charming and charismatic in the beginning, but their true colors will eventually show.
DSM And Its Criteria
The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) lists the criteria for diagnosing a narcissist. A person must exhibit five or more of these symptoms to be labeled as narcissistic:
- Has an exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Expects to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
- Exaggerates achievements and talents
- Fantasizes about unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate
- Believes that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with other special or high-status people
- Requires excessive admiration
- Tends to be jealous of others or believes that others are jealous of him or her
- Lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
- Is often arrogant and haughty in attitude and behavior
Types Of Narcissists And Their Traits
There are three different types of narcissists. These include overt, covert, and malignant narcissists. The traits that they possess can vary between each type. We will discuss all three types below:
Overt Narcissist (Grandiose)
These are the classic narcissists that you often see in movies or on TV. They are very arrogant and have a sense of entitlement. Also, they always need to be the center of attention and will go to great lengths to get it. And, they are also highly aggressive and can be violent if they don’t get what they want.
Covert Narcissist (Fragile)
These narcissists are not as easily recognizable. They are usually quiet and shy but can be very mean when they don’t get their way. This type of narcissist often uses manipulation to get what he or she wants from others.
Malignant Narcissist (Sociopathic)
These are the most dangerous types of narcissists. They are often very charming and can be very convincing. However, they have no conscience and will do anything to get what they want. They are often the ones who end up in prison or with a long history of abusive relationships.
Recognizing Potential Victims of Narcissists
Narcissists are always on the lookout for potential victims. They have a talent for spotting people who will be easy to manipulate or control. These types of people usually have low self-esteem and low confidence levels. They may also suffer from depression or anxiety, which makes them more susceptible to manipulation by narcissists than those with higher self-esteem.
Personality Types Prone To Victimization
Some personality types are more susceptible than others. Here is a list of some of them:
The people-pleaser
This person wants to make everyone happy and will do anything to avoid conflict. They are often easy targets for narcissists who can easily manipulate them into doing what they want.
The victim
This person has been through a lot in life and may have had a traumatic experience that has led them to become vulnerable and insecure. They are often drawn to narcissists because they offer them a sense of security and make them feel special.
The enabler
This person is usually the partner or friend of the victim. They may have grown up in a household where abuse was common, which has led them to become codependent and overly supportive of their loved ones. They often make the mistake of trying to fix or rescue the victim from the narcissist, which only makes things worse.
Studying Narcissist’s Weapons
Narcissists love to use verbal abuse as a way of controlling their victims. They do this by using words that are designed to make you feel bad about yourself or question your self-worth. These types of people may call you names like stupid, lazy, worthless, and ugly. They may also use phrases that are designed to make you feel guilty or ashamed of your behavior.
Catchphrases
To disarm a narcissist, it is important to know their weapons and strategies. Narcissists often use catchphrases that make others feel bad about themselves to get what they want.
Here are some examples of these phrases:
- “I was only joking.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “Don’t be so dramatic.”
- “I’m perfect and you’re not.”
- “You’re just being too sensitive.”
- “You’re making me so angry.”
- “Why can’t you be more like _____?”
- “You’re just like your mother/father.”
- “I don’t know why I bother with you.”
- “You’re just trying to make me look bad.”
- “You can never be good enough for me.”
- “You are so stupid! Why don’t you think before you speak?”
Effect Of These Phrases On You
Now, these phrases can make you feel like you are the wrong one, and they often work because the narcissist knows how to push your buttons. Because the narcissist knows that you have a conscience and is using your own emotions against you.
You may start to feel guilty for being so sensitive or dramatic when the narcissist tells you that it was all just a joke. They are good at manipulating people into believing their lies by telling them what they want to hear, but only if it benefits the narcissist in some way.
Thought Control Tactics
Narcissists also use thought control tactics to keep you under their thumb. They do this by controlling what information you have access to, as well as how you process that information. They may use threats, guilt trips, gaslighting, or playing the victim role to get what they want and blame-shifting.
Threats: Threats can include things such as physical violence, suicide threats, or threatening to take away your children. Example: “If you leave me, I’ll kill myself.”
Guilt trips: They are another tactic used by narcissists. They may say things like: “I can’t believe you did this to me,” or “You’re such a terrible person for doing that.”
They will often try to make you feel bad about yourself so that they don’t have to feel bad.
Gaslighting: It is when someone says something that happened but then denies it ever occurred. For instance, “I never said that.”
This can make you doubt your memory or reality. And therefore give the narcissist more power over you.
Playing the Victim Role: Narcissists often play the victim role to get sympathy from others. They may say things like “You’re so mean to me,” or “I can’t believe how horrible you are.”
The goal of this is to make themselves feel better at the expense of others, as well as get sympathy from them.
Blame Shifting: Narcissists often blame other people for their problems, rather than taking responsibility themselves. “It’s your fault I got fired.”
This allows the narcissist to feel better about themselves at the expense of others, which gives them more power over you.
NOTE: To deal with these tactics, it is important to first understand how they work. Once you know what to look for, you can start to question the narcissist’s motives and look for other sources of information.
Power Strategies
Narcissists use a variety of power strategies to gain control over others. These include:
- Manipulation: It is when someone manipulates their feelings or thoughts to get what they want. Example: “You’re so stupid for doing this.” This tactic often works because the person feels bad about themselves and therefore does whatever it takes not to feel that way again.
- Projection: It is when one person projects his/her feelings onto another. “You’re such a horrible person.” This is used to make others feel bad about themselves and therefore give the narcissist more power over them.
- Information Control: Narcissists will often withhold information from you or give it to you in a way that is meant to confuse you. They will also twist the truth so that it benefits them and puts you in a bad light.
NOTE: Narcissists use these strategies to gain control of your emotions, thoughts, and behavior so they can get what they want from you without having any consequences.
Confusing a Narcissist
To confuse a narcissist, it is important to know their weapons and strategies and use them against them. You can also use various power strategies of your own to gain control over the situation.
Counter Thought Control Tactics
Some things you can do include:
Using humor: Narcissists are often unable to make jokes about themselves, so you can use this to your advantage.
Example: “I was only joking.”
Refusing to be baited: Narcissists often try to bait you into an argument or get a reaction from you, but it is important not to take the bait.
Example: “Don’t be so dramatic.”
Not giving them what they want: If the narcissist is trying to control your behavior or emotions, don’t give in to them.
Example: “I’m not going to talk about this anymore.”
Stand up for yourself: Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and your rights.
Example: “No, I won’t do that.”
Using silence: Narcissists often like to have the last word in an argument, but you can use silence to your advantage.
Example: “I don’t know what else to say.”
NOTE: The goal is to make the narcissist feel uncomfortable and powerless.
Counter Power Strategies
These are some counter-power strategies that you can use against narcissists to give them the taste of their own medicine:
Using reverse psychology: Narcissists tend not to listen when someone tells them what they want or need directly. Reverse psychology is a way of getting around that by telling them the opposite of what you mean to get them to do something they wouldn’t normally do.
Example: “It’s okay if you don’t want to go because I’m not going either.”
Using other people: If the narcissist is trying to manipulate you into doing something, it can be helpful to use other people as a distraction or way of changing the subject so they stop focusing on what they were trying to get you to do.
Example: “I’m talking about something else now.”
Using emotional blackmail: If the narcissist is trying to make you feel guilty for doing something, it can be helpful to use emotional blackmail by making them feel guilty instead.
Example: “If we don’t go then I’ll never forgive you.”
Disarming a Narcissist
It is important to understand what type of narcissist you are dealing with. So that you can know how to disarm them. This will help make it easier for you when dealing with them in the future.
Disarming a Vulnerable Narcissist: The best way to deal with this type of narcissist is by standing up for yourself and your rights. This type of narcissist often responds well to boundaries.
Disarming a Malignant Narcissist: The best way to deal with this type of narcissist is by using power strategies and refusing to be controlled by them. It is also important to keep your distance from them as much as possible.
Disarming a Classic Narcissist: The best way to deal with this type of narcissist is by using humor and not taking them too seriously. You can also use silence to your advantage, as well as refusing to be baited into an argument or get a reaction from you.
NOTE: Once you have a better understanding of the facts, it is important to be confident in yourself and your opinions. If a narcissist tells you that you are wrong about something, don’t dismiss your thoughts or feelings just because he or she says so! Narcissists often use thought control tactics to make you doubt yourself, but don’t let them win. If you are not sure how to disarm a narcissist, it is best to seek help from a professional.
Dealing with a Narcissist
If you are currently dealing with a narcissist, it is important to seek help from a professional. However, you can also try the following strategies:
Don’t take things personally: Remember that the narcissist is not targeting you specifically, they are just taking advantage of anyone and everyone that they can.
Refuse to be controlled: Narcissists don’t like when they are not in control of a situation. But you can refuse to give them what they want by saying things like, “I’m not going to talk about this anymore.”
Don’t engage with the narcissist: If a narcissist is trying to bait you into an argument, it is best to refuse to engage with them. This will help you avoid getting wrapped up in their games.
Set boundaries with the narcissist: It is important to set boundaries with a narcissist so they know what you will and won’t tolerate. This will help keep them from taking advantage of your kindness or generosity.
Focus on your thoughts and feelings: If a narcissist tells you that you are wrong about something, don’t dismiss your thoughts or feelings just because he or she says so!
Seek professional help: If you are struggling to deal with a narcissist on your own, it is best to seek professional help. A therapist can assist you in developing strategies for dealing with the narcissist in your life.
General and Handy Tips
There is no one-size-fits-all answer for how to deal with narcissists. However, some general tips can be helpful.
- First and foremost, it is important to stay calm and assertive when dealing with them. Do not let them provoke you into reacting emotionally.
- Secondly, you need to be very clear and direct with them. Do not try to sugarcoat things or beat around the bush.
- Finally, always keep in mind that narcissists are very good at manipulation. It is important to stay vigilant and don’t let them take advantage of you.
Talking To a Professional
If you are having trouble dealing with a narcissist, it is important to talk to a professional. A therapist can help you understand the dynamics of your relationship and how to deal with the narcissist. They can also provide support and guidance throughout the process.
If you are not sure where to find a therapist, try looking for one online. Many therapists offer free consultations so that you can get to know them before making an appointment.
Experts’ On Confusing a Narcissists
“Never get into a debate with someone who has infinite time and energy.” – Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power.
“Humor is the best weapon you can use against narcissists because it doesn’t involve confrontation or conflict.” – Malcolm Gladwell, Blink The Power of Thinking Without Thinking.
Case Study
The following is a real-life case study of how to confuse a narcissist. This example will give you an idea of what it looks like in practice and if you think that this strategy might work for your situation.
I’m going to use a friend of mine who is an extreme narcissist. She is the type that believes everything revolves around her and if you disagree then it’s your fault because she can’t be wrong. This person has no empathy for others; they just want attention all day long!
When I first met this woman, I was very young and I didn’t know how to deal with her. She would constantly criticize me and put me down. I would try to stand up for myself, but she would just turn it around on me and make me feel like I was the wrong one. It was a confusing and frustrating experience.
After years of dealing with this woman, I have learned some strategies for how to manage her behavior. She is still a narcissist and she will never change that part of herself, but at least now I know what it looks like when someone does something wrong so that I can avoid getting into these situations in the future.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are many different ways to deal with a narcissist. It is important to understand what type of narcissist you are dealing with so that you can use the best strategy for disarming them. If you are not sure how to do this, it is best to seek help from a professional. Remember that it is never too late to seek help for yourself or someone you care about. Remember to stay strong and keep your head up! You can beat this.
A Word From Therapy Mantra
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