There is a lot of debate surrounding narcissists and their ability to love. Some say that they are capable of love, while others maintain that they are not. In this blog post, we will explore both sides of the argument and try to conclude. We will also look at how narcissists behave in relationships and whether or not they are capable of love. So, without further ado, let’s get started!
Contents
Understanding Narcissism
To understand whether or not narcissists are capable of love, we must first understand what narcissism is. Narcissism is a personality disorder that is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
People with this disorder often believe that they are better than others and are often very arrogant and selfish. Narcissists are also known for being manipulative and often use others to get what they want.
They can be very charming at first, but their true colors eventually shine through. Narcissists rarely have close relationships with others and often have a difficult time forming attachments.
Narcissist Traits Vs. NPD
Now that we have a basic understanding of narcissism, let’s explore some of the traits that are associated with it. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a diagnosis that can be given to someone who meets certain criteria.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) lists nine symptoms of NPD. To be diagnosed with the disorder, a person must exhibit at least five of these symptoms.
The symptoms include:
- An inflated sense of self-importance
- A need for admiration
- A lack of empathy for others
- A sense of entitlement
- Exploitative behavior
- Arrogance
- A lack of remorse
- A grandiose sense of self
NOTE: So, as you can see, narcissists often have many of the traits associated with NPD. However, not everyone who exhibits these traits is necessarily a narcissist. It is important to note that not all narcissists have a personality disorder and not all people with personality disorder are narcissists.
Evaluating Narcissist In Love
Now that we have a better understanding of what narcissism is, let’s explore some of the signs that a narcissist is in love. Keep in mind that not all of these signs will be present in every case and that some narcissists may not exhibit any of these signs.
- The narcissist will often be very loving and attentive at the beginning of the relationship. They may shower their partner with gifts and compliments and seem very interested in them.
- The narcissist will often make their partner feel like they are the only person that matters. They may be very possessive and demand all of their partner’s attention.
- The narcissist will often put their partner on a pedestal and make them feel like they are the best thing that has ever happened to them. They may also be very jealous and possessive of their partner.
- The narcissist will often idolize their partner and put them on a high pedestal. They may view themselves as being in a relationship with someone who is perfect and can do no wrong.
- The narcissist will often try to control their partner and maybe very manipulative. They may also be very critical and judgmental of their partner.
- Finally, narcissists are known for being emotionally cold and detached. They rarely express emotion or vulnerability and often seem like they are above it all.
How Narcissists Behave In Relationships
Now that we have explored some of the signs that a narcissist is in love, let’s take a look at how they behave in relationships.
- Narcissists often view themselves as the center of the universe and believe that they are entitled to special treatment.
- They often expect their partners to cater to their needs and can become very angry or abusive if they don’t.
- Narcissists also need control and often micromanage their partners.
- They can be very possessive and jealous and are often unwilling to share their partners with others.
So, based on their behavior in relationships, it would seem that narcissists are not capable of love. However, some experts believe that narcissists are capable of love. They just have a different way of expressing it.
Are Narcissists Capable of Love
Narcissists are attracted to people who they can control and who will cater to their needs. They often choose partners who are attractive and successful, as this helps them to boost their egos.
However, once narcissist gets what they want from the relationship, they often lose interest and move on. Narcissists are not known for being able to have healthy and sustainable relationships with others.
Narcissists rarely have close relationships with others and often have difficulty forming attachments. They often view themselves as being superior to others and believe that they are entitled to special treatment.
In addition, they can be very demanding and often expect their partners to meet all of their needs. They can also be very manipulative and often use others to get what they want. They are often very arrogant and selfish and do not exhibit much empathy for others.
So, while it is possible for a narcissist to love someone, it is not very likely. Their relationships are often filled with drama and chaos and they are often unable to give their partner the love and support that they need.
NOTE: Narcissists can fall in love, but it is often not a healthy or sustainable relationship. This can make it difficult for them to connect with their partners on an emotional level. They often have a difficult time forming attachments and can be very emotionally detached.
Falling In Love With Narcissist
So, what should you do if you find yourself falling in love with a narcissist? Well, the first thing you need to do is to acknowledge that there are some risks involved in dating a narcissist.
You need to be prepared for the fact that they may not be capable of giving you the love and support that you need. You also need to be prepared for the fact that their relationships are often filled with drama and chaos.
If you decide that you want to pursue a relationship with a narcissist, there are some things you can do to make it more likely that it will be successful. First, you need to set boundaries and limits. Let them know what you expect from them and what is off-limits.
You also need to be very clear about your needs and make sure that they can meet them. Also, if you sense that they are not capable of giving you what you need, it may be best to end the relationship before it becomes too complicated.
If You Fall In Love With Narcissist
Now, if you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it is important to remember that you are not responsible for their happiness.
- Set Boundaries: Narcissists often expect their partners to cater to their needs and can become very angry or abusive if they don’t. It is important to set boundaries and not allow yourself to be manipulated.
- Be Clear About Your Needs: Make sure that you are very clear about your needs and expectations for the relationship. If the narcissist is not able to meet your needs, it may be best to end the relationship.
- Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally: Don’t take their behavior personally. Remember that they are not capable of love or empathy and that their behavior is a reflection of that.
- Seek Outside Support: If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it is also important to have outside support. Talk to your friends and family about what you are going through and seek out professional help if necessary.
- Seek Professional Help: If you are struggling to deal with the narcissist in your life, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with support and guidance as you navigate this difficult relationship.
NOTE: It can be difficult to break free from a narcissistic relationship, but it is important to remember that you deserve to be happy and healthy.
Hearing From Experts
Many experts have studied narcissism and they all seem to agree that narcissists are not capable of love.
Dr. Craig Malkin
Dr. Craig Malkin is a clinical psychologist and the author of the book “Rethinking Narcissism.” In his book, Dr. Malkin argues that narcissists are not capable of love because they cannot feel empathy or compassion for others. He also believes that narcissists are only interested in themselves and their own needs, which is not a characteristic of someone capable of love.
Dr. Michael Maccoby
Dr. Michael Maccoby is a psychoanalyst and the author of “The Productive Narcissist.” In his book, Dr. Maccoby argues that narcissists are capable of love, but only if they can “transform their self-centeredness into a more differentiated form of caring.”
Inference
Well, most of the experts agree that it is very difficult for a narcissist to love someone. However, not all experts agree that narcissists are incapable of love. Some believe that it is possible for a narcissist to change and to learn how to give love and support to their partner. However, this is often a difficult process and it is not likely that a narcissist will change overnight.
Movies And Books
Well, as we have seen, most of them portray narcissists in a negative light. They are often portrayed as being selfish and arrogant and unable to form close relationships with others. They often exhibit many of the traits associated with NPD.
However, there are a few movies and books that suggest that it is possible for a narcissist to change and to learn how to love someone. For example, in the movie:
- “The Devil Wears Prada”, the character of Miranda Priestly (played by Meryl Streep) is a narcissistic fashion editor. However, she slowly begins to change her ways after she falls in love with a man who has no interest in her money or status.
- “The Wolf of Wall Street.” The main character, Jordan Belfort, is a clear narcissist. He is selfish, manipulative, and only cares about himself.
- “Disorder” explores the life of a narcissistic man and his struggles in relationships.
Conclusion
If you’re still considering whether or not narcissists are capable of love, here’s one final thing to consider: most people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) avoid long-term relationships.
Because they know that eventually, their partner will see them for who they are – and they’ll be high and dry, feeling empty and alone. So in a way, you could say that narcissists are afraid of love. That they fear rejection and abandonment. And that’s why they often resort to manipulation and control to keep their partners around.
But it’s important to remember that not all narcissists are the same. Some may be capable of forming healthy, sustainable relationships; it just depends on the individual. So if you’re curious about whether or not a particular narcissist is capable of love, the best thing to do is ask them directly. They may not give you the answer you’re hoping for, but at least you’ll know where they stand.
A Word From Therapy Mantra
Your mental health — Your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At TherapyMantra, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, workplace Issues, addiction, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.
