If you have a narcissistic mother, you know the pain and difficulties that can come with it. Narcissistic mothers are often difficult to deal with, as they can be manipulative and emotionally abusive. In this blog post, we will discuss what a covert narcissist mother is, and how to deal with her.
- 1 What Does Covert Narcissist Mother Mean?
- 2 Signs And Symptoms Of Covert Narcissist Mother
- 3 Difference Between Narcissism And Covert Narcissist Mother
- 4 What Causes To Be Covert Narcissist Mother?
- 5 Negative Impacts Of Growing Up With a Covert Narcissist Mother
- 6 How To Deal With Covert Narcissist Mother?
- 7 Conclusion
- 8 A Word From Therapy Mantra
What Does Covert Narcissist Mother Mean?
A covert narcissist mother is a woman who is very different from the stereotypical narcissistic mother. While both types of mothers are highly self-centered, the covert narcissist mother is far more subtle and manipulative in her ways. She often goes to great lengths to disguise her true motives. And will often make you feel like you are being too sensitive or overreacting when you try to confront her about her narcissism.
Covert narcissism is often harder to spot than overt narcissism. But it can be just as damaging to a child’s psyche. The covert narcissist mother will often put on a façade of being the perfect mother. She will be very loving and attentive in public, but behind closed doors, she is demanding, controlling, and manipulative.
Moreover, the covert narcissist mother is often very jealous of her children. She will see them as a threat to her own sense of self-importance and will do everything she can to undermine their achievements and independence.
There are studies that suggest that the covert narcissist mother is more likely to engage in emotional abuse of her children. More than the overt narcissist mother. The definition of a covert narcissist mother is a woman who is very different from the stereotypical narcissistic mother. While both types of mothers are highly self-centered.
Signs And Symptoms Of Covert Narcissist Mother
There are some common signs and symptoms of a covert narcissist mother. The following are some signs to look out for;
- She is often very critical of her children and will rarely give them compliments.
- Demands a lot from her children and will often be overly demanding.
- She tends to be very controlling and will want to be in charge of everything her children do.
- She will often use guilt trips and emotional blackmail to get what she wants from her children.
- Very manipulative and will often twist words or situations to make her children feel guilty.
- Covert narcissist mothers are much more subtle and manipulative in their dealings with their children than narcissist mothers.
- They often have a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.
- These mothers are very good at hiding their true motives and intentions.
- Their main goal is to make themselves look good in front of others.
The long-term effects of being raised by a covert narcissist mother can be very damaging, both mentally and emotionally. Children who are raised by narcissistic mothers often struggle with numerous issues.
Therefore, it is important to pay attention to these signs if you think that your mother may be a covert narcissist. If she is, then it is likely that she has caused you a lot of emotional damage in the past. And will continue to do so in the future if left untreated.
Difference Between Narcissism And Covert Narcissist Mother
There is a big difference between narcissism and covert narcissism. Such differences are also visible in the way these two types of mothers interact with their children.
More often, narcissism is often known as overt narcissism. This type of narcissist is easy to spot because they always need to be the center of attention. Covert narcissists, on the other hand, are very good at hiding their true motives and intentions. They put on a facade of being kind, caring, and loving mothers.
Some key differences between an overt and covert narcissist mother are;
- Overt narcissist mothers are more likely to be aggressive and abusive towards their children. Covert narcissist mothers are usually very manipulative and often use guilt trips to get what they want from their children.
- Overt narcissists crave admiration and respect from others. Covert narcissists, on the other hand, are more likely to feel envious of others and have a lack self-confidence.
- These overt narcissists often have a grandiose sense of self-importance. Covert narcissists tend to be insecure and have low self-esteem.
- Also, overt narcissist seems to have little interest in their children’s feelings or well-being. Covert narcissists, on the other hand, often appear to be very interested in their children but only as a way to get what they want from them.
If you are dealing with a narcissistic mother, it is important to understand the difference between overt and covert narcissism. This will help you better deal with a covert narcissist mother.
However, there are three significant points:
- how openly they show their disorder,
- how they make children feel guilty,
- and the long-term effects of being raised by a covert narcissist mother.
So, it is important to be able to spot the signs and symptoms of a covert narcissist mother in order to protect yourself from further emotional damage.
What Causes To Be Covert Narcissist Mother?
The causes of being a covert narcissist mother can be varied. However, there are some major causes that are common among this group of mothers.
- One such cause can be a history of neglect or abuse during their own childhood. This can leave them feeling insecure and overly needy as adults, which often leads to them becoming narcissistic.
- Another common cause is having a parent who was also a narcissist. This can create an unhealthy dynamic within the family where the children are constantly vying for the approval of their overbearing and demanding parents.
- And finally, some covert narcissist mothers may have simply learned how to manipulate others in order to get what they want from them.
Identifying these causes is an important step in understanding and managing the behavior of a covert narcissist mother. In fact, it is often the first step in being able to protect oneself from harmful behavior.
However, the causes of being a covert narcissist mother are not the only thing that needs to be understood. The effects of this type of behavior on children must also be considered. And, through that understanding, some steps can be taken to help children cope and protect themselves.
Negative Impacts Of Growing Up With a Covert Narcissist Mother
There are several negative impacts when you grow up with a covert narcissist mother. Such negative impacts are defined as the following;
Feeling of Emptiness
The first negative impact is the feeling of emptiness. This occurs because the covert narcissist mother does not provide her child with the love and attention that they need in order to feel secure and loved. As a result, the child often feels like they are not good enough or that there is something wrong with them. This can cause them to have low self-esteem which may follow them into adulthood.
Self-doubt happens because the covert narcissist mother often puts her child down and makes them feel as if they are not capable of doing anything right. As a result, the child may start to doubt themselves and their abilities which can lead to them having low self-confidence. It even includes the feeling of not being good enough for anything.
The third negative impact is isolation. It occurs because the covert narcissist mother often pushes her child away and does not allow them to have any friends. As a result, the child often feels alone and isolated from the rest of the world. This can cause them to feel depressed and lonely which can have a negative impact on their mental health.
It is often very difficult for the child of a covert narcissist mother to break away from their mother’s control. This is because they often feel guilty and as if they are betraying their mother. As a result, they may carry this feeling of guilt with them throughout their life.
Impacting Mental Health
Mental health is often impacted by growing up with a covert narcissist mother. This is because the child often experiences a lot of emotional pain and trauma as a result of their mother’s behavior. As a result, they may develop mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.
If you are currently struggling with any of these negative impacts, it is important to seek professional help. There are many things that can be done to help you deal with the trauma that you experienced. You do not have to suffer in silence.
How To Deal With Covert Narcissist Mother?
Dealing with a covert narcissist mother can be difficult. These mothers often fly under the radar and are not easily detected. They can be very manipulative and may seem like normal, caring mothers to outsiders. However, their children know the truth – that they are being constantly criticized and put down.
Tips To Deal With a Covert Narcissist Mother
Here are a few things you can do to deal with a covert narcissist mother:
Keep communication open and honest
It is the foremost thing you should do to keep communication open and honest with your mother. This way, she will not be able to manipulate you emotionally. Be assertive and don’t let her get away with her manipulative behavior. This is often difficult, but it is worth it in the end.
Communicating with honesty will also help you understand your mother better. You may come to realize that she is not a bad person, but rather someone who has been dealt a difficult hand in life.
It is important to set boundaries with your mother. This means that you should not tolerate her emotional abuse anymore. You need to be clear about what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable to you. If she crosses your boundaries, be sure to stand up for yourself and let her know that her behavior is not okay. This means that you need to be clear about what you are and are not willing to do for her. If she crosses your boundaries, stand up for yourself and don’t back down.
Limit contact with your covert narcissist mother
If all else fails, you may need to limit contact with your mother. This doesn’t mean that you have to cut her out of your life completely – just try to reduce the amount of time you spend with her. This can be difficult, but it may be the only way to protect yourself from her manipulative behavior.
However, you should always try to maintain a positive relationship with your mother, even if she is a covert narcissist. You never know when you might need her help or support. But in doing so, always be honest and assertive with her.
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself
You must remember that you are not alone. There are other people who have gone through or are going through the same thing as you. Don’t be afraid to speak up for yourself and reach out for help if you need it. Because, if you behave like a victim then the narcissist will have won. So, do not be a victim. Fight back and get the help you need to reclaim your life because you are important to yourself. Thus, make yourself a priority of yours.
Find support from friends or other family members
When you are dealing with a covert narcissist mother, it is important to have support from friends or family members. These people can provide you with emotional support and a listening ear. They can also offer helpful advice on how to deal with your situation.
Your friends can also help you stay accountable. If you are struggling to set boundaries with your mother, they can help keep you on track. However, the help from other family members should be limited. Narcissists often prey on family members and use them to get what they want. So, be careful who you turn to for help.
Seek professional help
If you are struggling to cope with your covert narcissist mother, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with guidance and support as you work through this difficult situation. It is important to seek help if you are feeling overwhelmed or stuck.
Remember, you are not alone! There are other people who understand what you are going through and can offer helpful advice and support. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. In fact, it is important to do so. You deserve to live a happy and healthy life, free from the clutches of a narcissistic mother.
Conclusively, covert narcissist mothers can be very damaging to their children. If you have a narcissistic mother, it is important to learn how to deal with her effectively. You deserve to have a happy and healthy life, and you shouldn’t have to put up with your mother’s narcissism. There are many resources available to help you, including books, articles, and support groups. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you need it.
You can also take steps to protect yourself from your mother’s narcissism. Try to build a strong support system of friends and family who will love and support you. Spend time doing things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. Be mindful of how your mother interacts with you, and set boundaries when necessary. Take care of yourself.
A Word From Therapy Mantra
Your mental health — Your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At TherapyMantra, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, workplace Issues, addiction, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.