We’ve all been there. Something happens that makes us really angry, but we can’t do anything about it. Maybe a loved one dies and we feel like we can’t express our emotions. Or maybe we’re at work and get passed over for a promotion. Whatever the cause, displaced anger is a common problem. In this blog post, we will discuss some tips for managing your emotions and dealing with displaced anger.
What Is Displaced Anger?
Displace anger is defined as anger that is directed towards someone or something other than the source of the anger. It occurs when we are unable to express our anger in a constructive way towards the person who has wronged us. Displaced anger can also happen when we hold onto resentment from past experiences and direct it towards current people or situations.
Some common signs of this type of anger can be:
- Withdrawing from loved ones
- Acting out in destructive ways
- Taking your anger out on someone who didn’t deserve it
- Feeling like you’re “walking on eggshells” around people
- Lashing out in verbal arguments
- Physical fights or aggression
It is believed that displaced anger is often a result of unresolved childhood trauma. When we experience trauma, we may not have had the opportunity to process our emotions in a healthy way. This can lead to us suppressing our feelings and later on, displacing them onto other people or situations.
If you find yourself struggling with displaced anger, know that you’re not alone. This is a common emotion that many people struggle with. However, there are ways to deal with it healthily.
Tips for Managing Displaced Anger
If you’re struggling with displaced anger, here are some tips that may help:
Identify the source of your anger
Oftentimes, our displaced anger is actually a response to something else. If you can identify the source of your anger, you may be able to address it directly. The triggers and symptoms of anxiety can be different for everyone, so it’s important to pay attention to what sets off your anger. Some common triggers include:
- Overwhelmed or out of control
- Like you’re not being heard or respected
- Threatened or helpless
Try to be mindful of your triggers and try to avoid them if possible. If you can’t avoid them, try to have a plan in place to deal with them.
Talk to someone you trust
Sometimes, it can be helpful to talk to someone about what’s going on. This can help you gain some perspective and may also help you feel better. For example, you might talk to a friend, family member, or partner. When you share what’s going on, be sure to express how you’re feeling. This can help the other person understand what you’re going through and may also help them offer support.
Write down your thoughts
It is also helpful to write down your thoughts. This can help you to better understand your emotions and may also help you to release some of the pent-up anger. Writing journals is a great way to get out your feelings without having to hurt anyone else. You can choose to write what made you angry, how you feel now, and what you would like to do to change the situation.
Engage in physical activity
Physical activity can be a great way to release some of the tension that comes with displaced anger. Taking a walk, going for a run, or even just hitting a punching bag can help you to feel better. When you engage in physical activity, your body releases endorphins, which have mood-boosting effects. Also, keep in mind to start with small goals so you don’t get too overwhelmed.
Try relaxation techniques
Many relaxation techniques can help manage displaced anger. These include things like:
- Deep breathing exercises
These all work to help you focus on the present moment and let go of whatever is causing your anger. For example, if you practice deep breathing, it can help to lower your heart rate and clear your mind. In addition, try to make time for activities that make you happy. Because when you’re happy, it’s harder to be angry.
Doing things you enjoy can also help to take your mind off of whatever is causing your anger in the first place. So go for a walk, listen to music, or read a book.
Disengage and retract from the situation
When you start to feel anger bubbling up, it’s important to take a step back from the situation. This doesn’t mean that you’re weak or that you can’t handle the problem at hand. It simply means that you need to take a moment to calm down before things get out of hand. Because anger is such a powerful emotion, it can be difficult to think clearly when you’re in the throes of it.
By disengaging from the situation, even for just a few minutes, you can give yourself the time you need to calm down and assess the situation more objectively.
Displaced anger can be a very difficult emotion to deal with. When we are feeling displaced anger, it can be tough to know how to react. We may feel like lashing out or getting revenge, but these reactions will only make the situation worse. It is important to find ways to self-soothe when we are feeling displaced anger so that we can avoid making the situation worse.
Some ways to self-soothe when we are feeling displaced anger include:
- Finding a safe place to be alone
- Listening to calming music
- Spending time outdoors
- Walking around nature
- Reading some books
Usually, when we feel anger, it is in response to something that has happened. There, mindfulness can be incredibly helpful. Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can help you to understand why you’re feeling angry and what, if anything, you can do about it.
One way to practice mindfulness is to focus on your breath. Simply notice the sensation of each inhale and exhale. If your mind wanders, that’s okay, just gently bring it back to your breath. You can do this for a few minutes each day or whenever you feel angry.
Find healthy outlets
If you’re feeling displaced anger, it’s important to find healthy outlets for your emotions. This might include things like exercise, journaling, or spending time in nature. Doing things that make you feel good can help you to better deal with your emotions and can also help to prevent displacement anger from happening in the first place. Utilizing your energy in positive ways can be a helpful way to avoid feeling angry and frustrated.
Understand others perspective
In displaced anger, people take their anger out on someone who was not the source of the original problem. This can happen when the angry person is unable to express their feelings directly to the person who caused the problem. Displaced anger can also occur when a person feels powerless or helpless and takes their frustration out on someone who they perceive as being weaker than them.
So you have to understand the perspective of the person you are angry with. Try to see things from their point of view and understand why they may have acted the way they did. This does not mean that you need to excuse their behavior, but it can help you to see the situation more clearly and respond more constructively.
See a therapist
This is one of the most important things you can do when learning how to deal with displaced anger. A therapist will help you understand your emotions, where they come from, and how to manage them. Many types of therapies are available to help you, so be sure to ask your therapist what would be best for you. Some common can be outlined as follows:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This type of therapy focuses on changing the thoughts and behaviors that contribute to your anger.
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): It teaches you how to accept yourself and others, even when things are not perfect. Also, it can be helpful in learning how to deal with displaced anger because it helps you to understand that everyone has different opinions and that it’s okay to agree to disagree.
- Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): This type of therapy can be helpful if your anger is related to a traumatic event. It can help you process and heal the emotions that are causing your anger.
Join a support group
A support group is considered one of the most important tools for managing displaced anger. This is because it allows you to share your experiences with others who are going through similar emotions. Additionally, a support group can provide you with guidance and advice on how to deal with your feelings.
There are many different types of support groups available, so it is important to find one that is right for you. If you are not sure where to start, you can ask your doctor or therapist for recommendations. You can also search online for support groups in your area.
Overall, these are some tips to help you deal with displaced anger. Remember that it is important to find a healthy outlet for your emotions. If you are struggling to cope, please reach out for help. There are many resources available to you. You should not feel alone in this journey.
To conclude, displaced anger is often the result of feeling powerless or trapped in a situation. It can be useful to identify the source of your displaced anger and to find healthy ways to express it. If you find yourself regularly displacing anger onto others, it may be helpful to seek professional help to explore the underlying causes and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
For more information and guidance please get in touch with our expert therapists at Therapy Mantra. They will be more than happy to assist you on your journey to recovery. Contact us today to learn more about our services. You can also book an online therapy session or download our free Android or iOS app.