If you have ever dealt with a self-loathing narcissist, then you know how difficult it can be. This type of narcissist is always putting themselves down and making themselves the victim. They are also very critical of others. If you are in a relationship with a self-loathing narcissist, it can be a very toxic and draining experience. In this article, we will explore what causes this type of narcissism and how you can deal with it.
What Is a Self-Loathing Narcissist?
A self-loathing narcissist is someone who is excessively self-absorbed and pompous, yet deep down feels inadequate and unworthy. They are often critical of others and quick to find fault but are also secretly afraid that they will be found out to be frauds. This type of narcissist is usually very defensive and quick to anger.
A self-loathing narcissist might constantly put others down to feel better about themselves. They might also withdraw from social situations and avoid any type of contact that could lead to someone discovering their true feelings of insecurity. In extreme cases, a self-loathing narcissist might even engage in self-destructive behaviors.
Sometimes, self-loathing narcissists can be mistaken for simply being shy or introverted. However, the key difference is that self-loathing narcissist have a deep fear of being exposed or rejected, whereas shy or introverted people might simply prefer not to be in the spotlight.
Difference Between Self-Loathing and Grandiose Narcissists
There are two types of narcissists: the grandiose type and the self-loathing type. Both have an inflated sense of self-importance and a need for admiration, but they differ in how they view themselves.
Grandiose narcissists see themselves as superior to others and have a positive self-image. They are arrogant and confident and think they can do anything they set their mind to. They crave attention and approval and often seek out fame and power.
Self-loathing narcissists, on the other hand, have a negative self-image. They are insecure and doubt their abilities. They feel inferior to others and are constantly seeking validation. Also, They may engage in self-destructive behaviors like substance abuse or eating disorders. According t some experts, self-loathing narcissists are more likely to experience depression and anxiety than grandiose narcissists.
Both types of narcissists can be difficult to deal with, but it is important to remember that they are suffering from a mental illness. If you think you may be dealing with a narcissist, the best thing you can do is seek professional help.
Why Do People Become Self-loathing Narcissists?
There are many reasons why people become self-loathing narcissists. Some of these can be:
Being Hurt by Someone
One of the most common reasons for someone becoming a self-loathing narcissist is being hurt by someone close to them. This can be either in a romantic relationship or even just a close friendship. When someone feels like they have been betrayed or let down by someone they trusted, it can cause them to become very cynical and distrustful of others. As a result, they may start to view themselves in a negative light and become extremely self-critical.
Having Low Self-Esteem
Another common reason why people may become self-loathing narcissists is due to having low self-esteem. When individuals feel like they are not good enough or do not deserve happiness, it can lead them to become extremely hard on themselves. They may start to believe that they are unworthy of love and attention, which can then cause them to act out in narcissistic ways to get the validation they crave.
Being Jealous of Others
Another reason why someone may become a self-loathing narcissist is due to feeling jealous of others. When individuals see other people succeed or be happy, it can trigger feelings of envy and resentment. As a result, they may start to put themselves down, even more, to try and make themselves feel better.
Having Unrealistic Standards
One final reason why people may become self-loathing narcissists is due to having unrealistic standards. When individuals set their expectations too high, it can often lead to them feeling disappointed and let down. This can then cause them to become even more critical of themselves and their worth.
How can you tell if someone is a self-loathing narcissist?
Self-loathing narcissists are often difficult to spot. They may seem like regular people at first, but over time their true colors will begin to show. Also, They may act charming and charismatic, but they also tend to be excessively critical of themselves and others.
They may put others down to make themselves feel better, and they may withdraw from social situations when they feel like they’re not the center of attention. If you suspect that someone you know is a self-loathing narcissist, it’s important to pay attention to their behavior and see if it matches up with the typical signs.
Another way to tell someone can be a self-loathing narcissist is if they’re excessively critical of themselves and others, tend to put others down to make themselves feel better, or withdraw from social situations.
Effects of Being In a Relationship With a Self-loathing Narcissist
If you find yourself in a relationship with a self-loathing narcissist, it is important to be aware of the effect that this can have on your mental health and well-being. This type of narcissist is very destructive, both to themselves and to those around them.
They are constantly putting themselves down and criticizing themselves, which can lead to their partner feeling the same way about themselves. This can be extremely damaging to your self-esteem and cause you to doubt your worth.
A self-loathing narcissist will also be very manipulative. They may try to control you with guilt or manipulation, or make you feel responsible for their happiness. This can be extremely draining and leave you feeling exhausted.
It is important to remember that you are not responsible for their happiness and that you cannot change or fix them. If you find yourself in a relationship with a self-loathing narcissist, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself and focus on your well-being.
How To Deal With a Self-loathing Narcissist?
Do you know someone who is always putting themselves down, even though they seem to have a high opinion of themselves? If so, you may be dealing with a self-loathing narcissist.
These types of narcissists are often difficult to deal with because they are constantly oscillating between thinking they are better than everyone else and thinking they are worthless. This can make them very unpredictable and manipulative.
If you are in a relationship with a self-loathing narcissist, it is important to try to understand where their feelings of worthlessness are coming from. Often, these feelings are the result of deep-seated insecurity and fear of rejection.
Try To Be Patient
One of the most common ways that self-loathing narcissists will try to get attention is by acting out in negative ways. They may make hurtful comments, start arguments, or withdraw from people altogether.
It can be easy to get caught up in their drama and react in kind. However, it is important to try to be patient with them and understand that their behavior is often a way of masking their insecurity.
Try To Show Them Compassion
It can be difficult to feel compassion for someone who is constantly putting you down, but it is important to remember that their behavior is often the result of their insecurity and low self-esteem. Try to show them compassion and understanding, even when they are being difficult. This will help them to feel more secure in your relationship and may eventually help to change their behavior.
Set Some Boundaries
Also, it is important to set some boundaries with a self-loathing narcissist. They may try to take advantage of your compassion by constantly asking for favors or attention.
Try to be assertive and set limits on what you are willing to do for them. This will help them to understand that their behavior has consequences and may eventually help them to change their ways.
Encourage Them To Seek Help
If you are concerned about the way a self-loathing narcissist is treating you, it is important to encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. Often, these types of narcissists need professional help to learn how to deal with their feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.
Sometimes being in a relationship with a self-loathing narcissist can be difficult, but it is important to try to be understanding. These types of narcissists often need extra patience and compassion. If you can be understanding and supportive, you may be able to help them to overcome their negative behavior.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a self-loathing narcissist, it is important to understand what you are dealing with. This type of narcissist is usually very insecure and unhappy with themselves, which can lead to them taking out their frustrations on those around them. It is important to set boundaries with this type of narcissist and not allow them to take advantage of you or treat you poorly. If you can do this, then you may be able to have a healthy relationship with a self-loathing narcissist.
Hope this article was of help to you! If you are suffering from mental health disorders, you may seek help from Therapy Mantra. We have a team of highly trained and experienced therapists who can provide you with the tools and skills necessary for overcoming mental health disorders. Contact us today to schedule an online therapy or download our free Android or iOS app for more information.