Abandonment issues are a common problem among people who have experienced significant loss. It can be difficult to overcome abandonment issues, but with time and patience, it is possible. This blog post has tips to help you recover from the pain of abandonment. You can move on and live a happy life.
What Is Fear Of Abandonment?
Fear of abandonment is a very real and common fear that can affect our lives in many ways. It often starts in a person’s childhood when they might have felt neglected or not supported by those who were supposed to care for them. Most adults have things that are difficult like not trusting other people or thinking they don’t deserve love.
Fear of abandonment can show up as a fear of being alone, feeling insecure in relationships, or constantly needing validation from others.
Symptoms Of Fear Of Abandonment
Fear of abandonment is actually a symptom similar to many other symptoms that are related to the concept of self-esteem.
- People who have a problem with this kind of issue tend to feel stuck and insecure about their life because they believe nobody can be trusted, not even themselves.
- They may feel like they are not good enough for other people and that their actions will eventually lead to being abandoned.
- People can be afraid of being abandoned if they are in a situation where they cannot cope with stress. They feel like they need help from other people.
- The constant need to be assured that they are not alone has created a strong emotional attachment with people who have very low self-esteem.
- People who are this way like to get approval and appreciation from other people. This is why they act like this. When they get approval, it makes them feel good about themselves.
- A person who is afraid of being abandoned will tend to try very hard to protect themselves. They might do things like blame other people or deny that something bad has happened.
Other Signs
- Feeling of emptiness
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Fear of rejection
- A feeling that your partner may fall out of love with you if he/she finds flaws within you
- Constant questioning of your partner’s love for you
In order to overcome this fear, it is important first to identify the root cause. This can be done with the help of a therapist who will help you through your issues. They will also help you find healing.
Causes Of Abandonment Issues
Common causes of abandonment issues include
Childhood experiences
- Some people who have suffered from emotional and/or physical abuse during their childhood may grow up to be adults with abandonment issues.
- They might experience a great deal of difficulty trusting others and may feel unworthy of love and affection.
- Many times, the person might subconsciously create situations that could end up in an attempt to trigger his or her abandonment issues. A person might end up in an abusive relationship just because they have abandonment fears.
- Abandonment issues are often caused by emotional abuse during childhood
Genetic Predisposition
- When children encounter neglect or abuse, their attachment system can become overwhelmed and disorganized. Children who are with their caregivers feel afraid. They learn that they have to be tough and not need anyone. Instead of feeling safe and secure with others, children can become preoccupied with fears and worries.
- When this occurs, the child’s mind will work against them by creating a false reality in which to protect them from further pain and disappointment. They might think they are not worthy of having a close relationship with other people. The children become obsessed with the caregiver. When they are gone, the child feels abandoned and it can lead to issues with abandonment.
- This attachment style also does not allow individuals to deal with loss or major changes in their lives.
- This fear of abandonment combined with low self-worth can lead to clingy behavior, especially when something triggers the individual’s insecurity.
- This often takes the form of an exaggerated fear or anxiety that a partner will leave them or stop loving them.
Other possible reasons for this condition are not being raised in a healthy environment by parents who express their love for the child and provide him/her with the attention that leads to his feeling secure about themselves (self-esteem) as well as unconditional support throughout life.
Risks Factors Of Abandonment Issues
There are many risks factors associated with abandonment issues. Some of these risk factors include:
- Experiencing a traumatic event or series of events that led to the feeling of being abandoned. This could be anything from the death of a loved one to being neglected or abused.
- Having an insecure attachment style in childhood. This means that you didn’t have a consistent caregiver who made you feel safe and secure.
- Having parents who were emotionally unavailable or neglectful.
- Growing up in a chaotic or unstable home environment.
- Having parents who had addiction issues.
- Experiencing frequent changes in caregivers or homes during childhood.
Treatment Options For Abandonment Issues
There are a wide variety of treatment options for abandonment issues.
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy: It is the most common and effective method used by therapists to treat this type of disorder. Cognitive behavior therapy is a way to change what you think, feel, or do. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can stop negative patterns in your life. It can help when you have had abandonment issues.
- Psychoanalysis: This technique began a long time ago. It is still one of the best ways to deal with abandonment issues because you will find out what led up to the problems and how they might affect you now.
- EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a relatively new therapy that is very effective in helping people deal with the effects of traumatic events.
- Art Therapy: This approach can be helpful for those who have difficulty expressing their feelings or thoughts verbally. It also allows you to explore different parts of yourself that you may not normally access.
- Group Therapy: Joining a group of others who are dealing with abandonment issues can provide support, understanding, and practical advice on how to cope.
- Medication: In some cases, medication may help manage symptoms such as anxiety or depression which often occur along with abandonment issues.
Techniques For Managing Abandonment Issues
There are many different techniques that you can try on your own to help manage these issues. Some of the most common ones include:
- Cognitive restructuring. This is a technique in which you will identify and challenge negative or inaccurate thoughts about yourself, others, or situations. Abandonment issues may trigger these thoughts in a bad way. Cognitive restructuring seeks to change those ways of thinking so that they reflect reality more closely. It also provides some relief from painful emotions such as anxiety, anger, hurt feelings, etc.
- Other examples would be making lists of positive attributes and accomplishments versus dwelling on perceived flaws like being “too fat” or whatever it might be for someone else suffering from this disorder. Speaking out loud allows one’s self-talk to become external and can give one the opportunity to hear their internal dialogue.
- Another example would be positive self-talk, especially when feeling overwhelmed by painful emotions like shame or guilt.
- Distraction. Finding a distraction such as reading a book, watching television, listening to music, surfing the Internet, etc., may help you deal with negative feelings that occur because of abandonment issues. When your mind is occupied in this way it will not have time to focus on those painful emotions so much.
- However, if used too frequently without addressing what’s causing these feelings they could cause them to build up until they become unmanageable which often leads back to depression caused by abandonment issues. It’s best practice (and healthier) for lasting results healing-wise to use distractions along with some other form of therapy.
- Exercise and relaxation techniques. Exercise releases endorphins which can help improve your mood and make you feel better. It also helps to get rid of built-up energy that you might use in a destructive way otherwise.
- Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, visualization, and yoga can help calm the mind and body. They can be helpful when feelings of anxiety or anger are present because of abandonment issues.
How To Help Someone With Abandonment Issues?
If you know someone who is dealing with abandonment issues, there are some things that you can do to help.
- First, try not to judge them or criticize their behavior. They are already feeling a lot of shame and guilt about themselves, so adding more fuel to the fire will only make things worse.
- Second, provide support and understanding. Let them know that you care about them and are there for them when they need it.
- Third, offer practical advice on how they can cope with their feelings. This might include suggestions on different techniques that they can try, such as those mentioned above.
- Fourth, keep in mind that recovery from abandonment issues takes time. Be patient and be there for them when they need it.
- If you are dealing with someone who has abandonment issues, then you should try to be understanding and supportive of them. They may not react well if judged or attacked for the things that they say or do because of their disorder. Instead of criticizing someone, you can give support. Give people encouragement by telling them they are good at something.
- It takes time to recover from this type of emotional problem. Don’t push anyone into doing something they are not ready for yet.
- Also, keep in mind that while medications can sometimes be helpful in dealing with these types of problems there is no magic pill out there that makes everything instantly all right again when suffering from abandonment issues.
It is hard to deal with emotional problems, but there are ways that you can help. Do not give up if your loved one does not get better right away.
Conclusion
When somebody abandons you, it can be hard to get over the pain. But there are ways to help yourself heal and move forward with your life. The most important thing is that you acknowledge what happened in order for healing to take place. You need people to care about you. It might seem impossible right now, but remember that time goes by fast. Soon, things will be better! You can help make this happen by doing some work on your part. The next few years could bring more joy into your life than ever before.
A Word From Therapy Mantra
Your mental health — your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
Also, at Therapy Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can take our mental health test. You can also book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.
