Dealing with a breakup is never easy. Whether you were the one who did the breaking up or you were the one who was broken up with, there is always pain involved. In this blog post, we will be discussing all aspects of breakups – from coping to learning important lessons. We will also be hearing from relationship experts so that you can get the most out of this difficult time.
- 1 Feeling Pain of Breaking-up
- 2 Grieving After Breakup
- 3 Dealing With Breakup or Divorce
- 4 Taking Care of Yourself After Break-Up
- 5 Talking To a Professional
- 6 Learning Important Lessons From a Breakup
- 7 Evaluating Positives of Breakup or Divorce
- 8 Helping Someone Through Breakup
- 9 Helping Your Kids During Separation
- 10 Hearing From Relationship Experts
- 11 Conclusion
- 12 A Word From Therapy Mantra
Feeling Pain of Breaking-up
When you are in a relationship, your whole world revolves around that one person. You share everything with them and you grow to rely on them for support. So when the relationship ends, it feels like a part of you has been ripped away. You feel lost, alone and scared.
You may also feel a range of other emotions such as anger, betrayal, sadness, and guilt. It is important to allow yourself to feel all of these emotions. Bottling them up will only make the healing process longer and more difficult.
Why Breakups Are So Painful?
There are several reasons why breakups are so painful. One reason is that we attach so much importance to our relationships. We expect our partner to be our best friend, lover, and confidante. When that relationship ends, it feels like a part of us has died.
Another reason is that breakups involve loss. We lose the person we loved, the person we shared our life with, and often the future we imagined together. This can be incredibly painful, especially when you break up with someone who you thought was “the one.”
Five Stages of Breakup
Denial: At first, it may be difficult to believe that the relationship has ended. You might find yourself thinking this is just a bad dream and you’ll wake up soon. This stage usually lasts for about one week after the breakup occurs.
Anger: The next stage of grief is anger, often directed towards the person who did the breaking up. You might find yourself resenting your ex-partner and wishing they would suffer like you are suffering. This stage usually lasts for about two weeks after the breakup occurs.
Bargaining: After anger comes bargaining, which is when we try to make deals with ourselves or God to bring back our lost love. This stage usually lasts for about three weeks after the breakup occurs.
Depression: This is when you start to feel sad, hopeless, and worthless. It may be difficult to get out of bed or do anything at all during this period because you feel so empty inside. You might find yourself crying frequently as well as having trouble eating or sleeping. This stage usually lasts for about four weeks after the breakup occurs.
Acceptance: The final stage of grief is acceptance when you finally come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over and there is nothing you can do to change it. You may find yourself feeling relieved that the pain is over and moving on becomes a little bit easier. This stage usually lasts for about six weeks after the breakup occurs.
Grieving After Breakup
Breakups are similar to the mourning process after a death. You must allow yourself time to grieve and heal from this loss. This can take days, weeks, or even months depending on the person.
So, allow yourself time to grieve and process your feelings about what happened without judgment or criticism from others (including yourself). This is a difficult time and you need to do what is best for you, which may not be the same as what others expect of you. Meanwhile,
- Allow yourself time to grieve
- Don’t rush into a new relationship
- Realize that this is not your fault
There are a few things you can do to help the grieving process:
- Journal your feelings: It can help you to process them and move past them. You can write as much or as little as you want. There is no right or wrong way to journal, just let the words flow naturally from your heart.
- Talk about your feelings: Let your friends and family will also help you heal. They may be able to give you some insight or advice that you hadn’t thought of before.
- Focus on yourself and what makes you happy: This could be spending time with friends, going for walks in nature, or reading a good book. Find something that brings joy to your life and focus on it during the grieving process.
- Take care of yourself: Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating healthy foods, and exercising regularly. So while you can heal emotionally, you need to be taking care of your physical body as well.
NOTE: These are just a few ways to help you get through this difficult time in your life. Remember that everyone is different and every situation is unique so what works for one person may not work for another.
Dealing With Breakup or Divorce
There are a lot of things to consider when you go through a breakup or divorce. It can be overwhelming and feel like there is no way to get through it. But remember, you are not alone. Many people have been in your position and have made it through just fine.
Here are some tips for dealing with a breakup or divorce:
Don’t make any rash decisions: This is a time when it is easy to become impulsive and do something you may later regret. Try to take some time for yourself before making any big changes in your life, such as moving or changing jobs.
Try not to isolate yourself: It is easy during this time in our lives to want nothing more than sleep all day, but try your best not to do so. Go out and spend time with friends or even just take a walk around the block once in a while. This will help keep you from getting too lonely.
Seek professional help if needed: If you are feeling overwhelmed or like you can’t cope with the situation, talking to a therapist may be the best option for you. They will be able to provide support and guidance as you work through this tough time.
NOTE: Breakups can be difficult and overwhelming, but they do not have to be the end of the world. They can leave us feeling lost, alone, and scared. It is normal to experience these emotions after a breakup. It is important to know that you are not the only person who has ever gone through this. Remember that you are not alone in this and there are many resources available for help if needed – including friends, family members, therapists, and even online communities.
Taking Care of Yourself After Break-Up
Once you are ready to start taking care of yourself again, here are some things that may help:
Get plenty of sleep: Sleep is when we heal mentally, physically, and emotionally so we must get enough rest every night if possible for at least eight hours each day (or even more).
Exercise regularly: To release endorphins in your brain which will make you feel happier and more positive about life. You can also try yoga or meditation as a way of relaxing and focusing on the present moment without worrying about anything else going on around you.
Eat healthy foods: It is easy to fall into a trap of eating fast food and junk when going through something like this, but try your best not to do so! Try cooking at home or even preparing meals ahead of time if possible. This will help keep you from getting too unhealthy while also giving you some control over what you are eating.
Practice self-care: Take some time every day where you focus on doing something that makes you happy and relaxes you. This could be anything from reading, taking a bath, or going for a walk. By taking care of yourself, you will be better equipped to deal with everything else that comes your way.
Don’t let yourself fall into a rut: It is easy to get stuck in the same routine day after day, but try not to do so! Try cooking at home or even preparing meals ahead of time if possible. This will help keep you from getting too unhealthy while also giving you some control over what you are eating.
Sometimes, you may need to do a little bit more than just “getting over” someone. If this is the case for you, here are some self-care tips that might help:
- Volunteer for a cause or organization that is important to you – this will help keep you busy while also making you feel good about yourself.
- Take up a new hobby or activity such as painting, writing poetry, playing an instrument… anything creative! This will help keep you busy while also giving you something fun to do in your free time.
- Go out and have fun with your friends or family members who love and care about you – they will probably be more than happy to spend time with you.
When it comes to our diets, we often turn to comfort foods such as pizza, ice cream, and chocolate. While these foods may be tempting, they are not the best things for us when we are trying to get over someone. Here are some better diet tips that may help:
Avoid processed foods: These tend to have a lot of sugar, salt, and fat in them which is not good for our bodies when we are trying to get over someone.
Eat more fruits and vegetables: Eating these will give us energy while also helping us feel happier because they contain vitamins that act as natural antidepressants! This can help us get over someone faster and easier.
Avoid caffeine or alcohol consumption: Until you are feeling better about everything – they can make things worse by causing anxiety and depression symptoms which will only add fuel to the fire when trying to get over someone.
Talking To a Professional
Sometimes, it is helpful to talk about what you are feeling with an objective person who has experience dealing with similar situations as yours. You could try talking to your family doctor or going online and reading articles about getting over someone.
If these options don’t work for you, many professionals specialize in helping people get through breakups and other difficult times. They can help provide support while also giving advice that may be helpful when trying to move forward from this situation.
It is common to feel a range of intense emotions after a breakup, ranging from sadness and loneliness to anger and bitterness. If you are feeling like these emotions are impacting your day-to-day life more than they should be, therapy may be the best option for you.
There are many different types of therapy available, so it is important to do your research and find one that will work best for you. Some of the most common therapies are cognitive-behavioral therapy, family systems therapy, and dialectical behavior therapy.
Cognitive-behavioral Therapy: This type of therapy helps people change the way they think and behave, which in turn can help them feel better about themselves.
Family Systems Therapy: This approach looks at how the family as a whole function and how each member contributes to the overall system. It can be helpful for those who are struggling after a breakup because it examines how their family relationships play a role in their mental health.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy: This type of therapy focuses on teaching people skills to deal with difficult situations, such as breakups or other stressful life events. It teaches them how to regulate their emotions and behaviors through mindfulness exercises like meditation and yoga practice sessions.
Learning Important Lessons From a Breakup
Breakups are never easy, but they can also be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. One of the most important things to do after experiencing this type of loss takes time away from your ex so that you don’t get too attached again before it’s appropriate. If you want to learn important lessons from a breakup or divorce, try these tips:
You are not responsible for your partner’s happiness – This is an important lesson to learn. You cannot control how someone else feels or what they do, and you are not responsible for their happiness.
Accept that you’re worthy of love and respect – No one deserves to be treated poorly, no matter what has happened in the past. You should always remember that you are worthy of love and respect from others.
It’s okay to Grieve – Grief is a normal part of life and it’s important not to try and push away your feelings or pretend like everything is fine when it isn’t. It may take some time, but eventually, things will get better again one day at a time.
Take some time for yourself – Take this opportunity to focus on what makes you happy and figure out how best to move forward with your life after the breakup. It’s okay if it takes months before feeling like yourself again; just remember that time is a healer.
Don’t rush into another relationship – This is a big one! It can be tempting to jump into a new relationship as soon as possible to fill the void that was left by your last one, but it’s important to take things slow and make sure that you are ready for something new.
Evaluating Positives of Breakup or Divorce
It’s not all bad news when it comes to breakups and divorces – there can be some positives that come from these situations, too. Here are a few things to consider. You:
Are now free to do what you want – One of the best things about breaking up is that you are no longer tied down to someone else.
Don’t have to worry about what your partner thinks or feels – You can now focus on yourself and do whatever makes you happy without worrying whether it will upset them or not.
Might find new friends – If you were in a relationship with someone who took up all of your time, then breaking up could mean that you have more time to socialize and make new friends.
Might find a new partner – This could be either someone you meet after the breakup or someone who was already in your life but you didn’t realize it until now.
The bottom line is that breakups are never easy, but with the right tools and therapies, you’ll get through this difficult time and come out stronger on the other side.
Helping Someone Through Breakup
If you know someone who is going through a breakup, there are plenty of things that you can do to help them out. Here are some tips:
Listen without judgment: Breakups can be a time of intense emotion, and it’s important to just let your friend talk about what they are feeling.
Help them to process their feelings: This could involve talking about the breakup, writing about it, or even just spending time together doing something fun!
Don’t push them into talking about the relationship: It may be tempting to want to know all the details, but sometimes people should take things at their own pace.
Encourage them to stay active and social: Breaking away from your usual routine can be tough, so try to encourage your friend to get out and do things they enjoy.
Helping Your Kids During Separation
If you have children, they will likely feel sad and scared during this time as well. Your kids must know they can still rely on both parents for love, support, and comfort even though you aren’t together anymore.
Here are some tips to help your kids cope with the breakup:
- Don’t let them see you cry or get upset about it. This will only make them feel worse and they may think that they caused this by doing something wrong themselves. Instead, try to be strong around them so they know everything will be okay.
- Let them talk about the breakup and their feelings. Encourage them to express what they are going through and answer any questions they may have. This can help them to work through their emotions healthily.
- Make sure they have plenty of one-on-one time with each parent. This will ensure that they feel loved and supported by both of you even though you aren’t together anymore.
- Spend time doing things your kids enjoy, such as going out to eat or watching a movie. This will take their mind off of the situation and help them focus on something else for a while.
NOTE: Kids are resilient so don’t worry too much if they seem to be handling the breakup better or worse than you expected. Just make sure that you are there for them when they need you and continue to provide love and support.
Hearing From Relationship Experts
There are many different opinions out there when it comes to getting over someone, so it can be helpful to hear from relationship experts who have studied this topic. Here are some of the best tips they have to offer:
Janice Levine, Ph.D., says that you should “give yourself time and permission to grieve.”
Barbara Keesling, PhD., recommends taking a break from social media and “finding new activities that give you pleasure.”
Mary Jo Rapini, MEd., LPC, says that you should “figure out what you want and need in a relationship before jumping into the next one.”
Linda Carroll (relationship expert), says: “The first thing after being dumped is to allow yourself some time alone, space away from the other person so you can start to get some distance.”
Sarah was in a long-term relationship that ended abruptly. She was struggling to cope with the breakup or say was dealing with a breakup. She wasn’t sure what to do next! After talking to her therapist, she decided to try dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
DBT has helped Sarah learn how to better regulate her emotions and has given her some tools to deal with difficult situations. She has also been practicing mindfulness exercises like meditation and yoga, which have helped her to stay centered during this tough time.
Movies And Books
If you are looking for some additional help and guidance through the process of a breakup, there are plenty of great movies and books out there that can offer support. Some of our favorites include:
“He’s Just Not That Into You”: This book offers insight into why you might not be getting the love and attention that you want from your partner.
“The Breakup Playbook”: This movie follows the journey of two friends as they try to get over their breakups. It’s both funny and heartfelt and will make you feel better about your situation.
“Textbook Romance”: If movies aren’t your thing, this novel is a great option for those who prefer reading over watching TV or going out to see films anytime soon! It tells the story of two people who are struggling to find love in the modern world.
“The Five Love Languages”: This book is all about understanding what makes your partner happy in a relationship and how to give them what they need. It’s a great read for anyone who is looking to improve their relationships with others or just wants some insight into what makes people tick!
Getting over someone or dealing with a breakup can be a difficult process. But by using some of the tips and advice mentioned in this article. You can make it a little bit easier. Remember that everyone is different. So there isn’t one right way to do it. Try out different methods until you find what works best for you!
And most importantly, give yourself time to grieve. This is a normal part of the healing process and it can take days, weeks, or even months depending on the person. It’s okay if it takes you longer than others to heal from this loss, just keep moving forward each day, and eventually, things will get better.
A Word From Therapy Mantra
Your mental health — Your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At TherapyMantra, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, workplace Issues, addiction, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.