Do you sometimes feel like you need to be in control of everything? Do you find yourself micro-managing every situation, and feeling anxious or angry when things don’t go your way? If so, you may be struggling with a control issue. Being controlling can cause a lot of problems in personal and professional relationships, and it can also be very damaging to mental health. In this blog post, we will discuss tips for overcoming control issues and learning how to let go.
Why People Are Controlling?
In life, we face people who are always trying to control everything. They want to control the conversations, they want to be in charge all the time, and they often try to micromanage those around them.
There are a variety of reasons why someone might try to take on this level of control. Maybe they’re insecure and need to feel like they’re always in charge in order to feel safe. Or maybe they’ve been hurt before and now they’re just trying to protect themselves from getting hurt again.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that nobody has the right to be controlling over anyone. You always have a choice in how you react to someone who is being controlled.
Reasons For Being Controlling
There are some of the reasons associated with being controlling which are as follows “
- They might have some trust issues.
- Maybe they were raised in a family where one or both parents were very controlling.
- It could be a defense mechanism to prevent themselves from getting hurt again.
- In some cases, people are just naturally controlled freaks and it’s nothing personal.
- Also, the reason could be that they want everything to be perfect and in order.
- They could have low self-esteem or be afraid of change.
- They may be naturally controlled freaks.
All these reasons are somehow associated with being controlling. If someone has trust issues then it means that they have been hurt before which makes them not trust anyone again.
And if someone was raised in a family where one or both parents were very controlling then it shows that this is something that has been happening since childhood and has become a part of who they are. It’s important to remember that people usually aren’t trying to be controlling, it’s just a defense mechanism to prevent themselves from getting hurt again.
Signs That You May Be a Controlling Person
If you find yourself regularly trying to control others or micromanaging them, it may be time to examine your behavior.
Here are some common signs that you may be a controlling person:
- You always have to be right and need everyone else to see things your way.
- Constantly trying to change or fix other people.
- Difficulty letting goes of things and trusting others to do things their own way.
- You tend to be very critical of yourself and others.
- Afraid of change and new situations.
- You often try to control the outcome of situations by manipulating people or circumstances.
- Needing to know everything that is going on all the time.
- Always needing to be in control and feeling anxiety when you are not.
If you can relate to any of these signs, it may be time to work on overcoming your control issues. These signs can be indicative of a larger problem that can lead to serious consequences in your personal and professional life if left unchecked.
Therefore, in order to seek a healthy and loving life. Be aware of such signs that may cause you serious problems with your relationships and health as well.
Are Controlling People Feel Themselves As Perfectionist?
There are some pieces of evidence that people who are controlling freaks generally suffer from the problem of being a perfectionist. If you find that you have to do everything in an orderly fashion and it has to be done your way. Then, there are chances are that you might be suffering from this issue.
In order to overcome this, you will need to learn how to let go and allow others to assist you in completing tasks. This can be difficult for some people, but it is necessary if you want to stop being controlling.
Some perfectionists always try to control everything in their life including their work, family, friends, and even themselves. If you are also one of them then you need to overcome your control issues.
What Are The Consequences of Being Controlling?
If you’re used to being in control, it can be difficult to let go. You may feel like you’re not good enough or that people won’t listen to you if you’re not in charge.
However, being controlling can have some serious consequences. It can damage your relationships, make others feel uncomfortable, and even lead to aggression. Some key consequences are discussed below;
- Loss of trust: If you’re always trying to control everything, people will start to lose faith in you. They’ll feel like they can’t rely on you to do things or make decisions. This can damage your relationships and make it hard to build trust.
- Feeling anxious and stressed: When you’re constantly trying to control everything, it can be very stressful. You may find yourself feeling anxious and overwhelmed all the time.
- Damaging relationships: If you’re always needing to be in charge, it can damage your relationships with others. People may start to feel like they can’t be themselves around you or that you’re always trying to tell them what to do. This can lead to conflict and even estrangement.
- Causes health problems: Being controlling can also lead to physical health problems. The stress of always needing to be in control can cause headaches, stomach problems, and sleep difficulties. It can also weaken your immune system, making you more susceptible to illness.
If you’re struggling with control issues, it’s important to seek help. There are many resources available to assist you in overcoming these challenges.
How To Stop Being Controlling?
Being controlling sometimes feels like the only way to be in control of our lives. But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are other, healthier ways to feel in control and stop being controlling. Here are some tips:
Identify Your Triggers
To control the situation, you first need to understand what triggers your need to control. Is it feeling like you’re not being heard? Feeling like you’re not in control of our lives? Once you identify your triggers, you can start to work on addressing them.
Also, identifying the triggers can be a way to start to work on addressing the underlying issues that cause you to feel the need to control in the first place.
Talk To Someone You Trust
Sometimes, it can be helpful to talk to someone you trust about your need to control. This can be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else too who you feel comfortable talking. Talking about your issue can help you understand it better and may also give you some insights into how to address it.
They can guide you, support you, and be there for you as you work on overcoming your need to control.
Work On Accepting Things You Can’t Control
One of the hardest things for people who are controlling is accepting that there are some things they can’t control. But it’s important to remember that we can’t control everything. And that’s okay.
Try to focus on the things you can control and let go of the things you can’t. This may take some time and practice, but it’s worth it.
Assertive communication is a healthy way to communicate needs and wants without resorting to controlling behavior. It involves staying calm and respectful while still being direct.
This communication is considerably different than aggressive communication, which involves putting someone down or resorting to threats. Assertive communication is the healthiest way to communicate and can help reduce controlling behavior.
Challenge Your Fears
Your fears may be what’s driving your need to control. If you’re afraid of something, you may try to control the situation so that you don’t have to face your fear. But, it is not right to do.
Try to challenge your fears by facing them head-on. This may mean doing things that make you feel uncomfortable at first, but it will get easier with time. And it may help reduce your need to control.
Ask yourself questions about your fears and try to come up with rational responses. For example, if you’re afraid of failing, ask yourself what the worst that could happen is. You may find that your fears are not as bad as you thought they were.
Mindfulness is a way of being present in the moment and accepting things as they are. It can be helpful in reducing controlling behavior because it allows you to focus on the here and now instead of worrying about what could happen.
Try to practice mindfulness in your everyday life. For example, when you’re eating, really focus on the taste, smell, and texture of your food. Or when you’re talking to someone, really listen to what they’re saying.
Focus On Your Breathing
When you’re feeling stressed or anxious, your breathing tends to quicken. This can make you feel even more stressed and can lead to controlling behavior.
Try to focus on your breath and slow it down. This will help you feel more relaxed and may help reduce your need to control. This can be done by various breathing exercises or simply by focusing on your breath for a few minutes each day. It includes;
- Taking a few deep breaths.
- Counting to four as you inhale and then counting to four as you exhale.
- Focusing on your breath going in and out of your nose or mouth.
There are many different ways to meditate, so find one that works best for you. But, make sure to make it a habit for better results.
Learn To Be Flexible
Being flexible means being able to adapt to change. This can be difficult for people who are used to controlling everything. But, it’s important to remember that not everything will go the way you want it to. And that’s okay.
Try to be flexible and go with the flow. This doesn’t mean giving up your values or what’s important to you. But, it does mean being open to new ideas and ways of doing things.
It may take some time to learn how to be flexible, but it’ll be worth it in the end. You may find that your life is much easier and less stressful when you’re not trying to control everything all the time.
Find An Outlet For Your Energy
If you’re used to being in control, it can be difficult to let go. But, it’s important to find an outlet for your energy. This may mean exercise, painting, writing, or anything that allows you to express yourself.
Find something that you’re passionate about and pour your energy into that. This will help you feel better and may help reduce your need to control.
Seek Professional Help
If you’re struggling to overcome your need to control, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand the root of your problem and give you the tools to deal with it.
If you’re not sure where to start, there are many online resources that can help you find a therapist in your area. Before your control starts to take over your life, get the help you need to overcome it.
Try Any Mantra
There are many mantras that you can try in order to stop being controlling. Some of these mantras include;
- Try “I am in control of my life.”
- “I am responsible for my own happiness.”
- Or maybe, “I am capable of handling whatever comes my way.”
- “I am strong enough to overcome this.”
- “I deserve to be happy and peaceful.”
Choose a mantra that resonates with you and repeat it to yourself whenever you’re feeling out of control. This may help remind you that you are in control of your life and that you don’t need to rely on controlling behavior to get through tough times.
Take some time for yourself every day. This may mean taking a few minutes to meditate, taking a bath, or reading your favorite book. Find what works for you and make it a priority.
These are just a few tips to help you stop being controlling. If you find that your need to control is impacting your life in a negative way, make sure to seek professional help. Remember, you’re not alone and there is help available. With the right tools, you can overcome your control issues and live a happier life.
Being controlling can damage your relationships and hinder your ability to reach your goals. If you find yourself being overly being controlling, try to take a step back and assess the situation. Is there a reason you feel the need to be in control? Are you afraid of what might happen if you’re not in control?
Try to identify the root cause of your controlling behavior and work on addressing that issue. If you can’t seem to shake your need for control, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand and work through your control issues.
A Word From Therapy Mantra
Your mental health — Your psychological, emotional, and social well-being — has an impact on every aspect of your life. Positive mental health essentially allows you to effectively deal with life’s everyday challenges.
At TherapyMantra, we have a team of therapists who provide affordable online therapy to assist you with issues such as depression, anxiety, stress, workplace Issues, addiction, relationship, OCD, LGBTQ, and PTSD. You can book a free therapy or download our free Android or iOS app.